獨立寫作的模板套用問題(有or沒有模版) - 英檢

嗨各位前輩好
最近決定重拾寫作，決定再戰托福。
寫獨立寫作的時候遇到一個問題，一般獨立寫作模板都是像:
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It is a highly debated issue whether 文章中要我們討論是否該如何的主題, and
this topic can be approached from several angles due to its complexity. While
some people tend to think其中一個論點, others seem to disagree with it.
Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that 其中一個立場 is better,
and the following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning.

To begin with, 第一個論點的主旨句. That is to say, 換句話說第一個論點(原因).
For example, 針對第一個論點舉例.

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我的問題是感覺這樣寫出來的作文寫作絲路就會被侷限，
以反對「小孩要不要跟父母做類似的工作?」來舉例好了
如果套用模板，可能就會是：
不贊同小孩要跟父母做類似的工作，因為每個人有自己的興趣。換句話說，
小孩可能有跟父母不同的興趣。例如，我的父母都是工程師，但是我的興趣是化學，
因此我想要找一個跟化學有關的工作，而不是跟我父母做類似的工作。

但是我看到一個範例是這樣寫的:
Firstly and foremost, individuals have interests varying from each other. As
the saying goes, interest is the best teacher of a person in whole life. If
one is appealed by a specific job, he will dedicate to it and make all his
efforts to succeed in it. On the contrary, if he is forced to choose a
certain job which he feels boring or even meaningless about, he will not only
lack interest and passion to work, but also suffers a lot during this tough
period. What's worse, he may lose his positive attitude and hope for his
future. It is understandable that parents try to make their children choose
jobs which are similar to theirs for the sake of their steady and promising
future. Nevertheless, their children will lose the opportunities to work with
interest and lead own life with real desire. It is more harmful to their
children's mental health and self-development.

我不知道我有沒有清楚的描述我的問題..
但我覺得沒有模版好像可以提供更多的解釋去支持自己的論點?
還是我沒有搞清楚模板到底要怎麼使用??
如果使用上述模版，但是要加入範例中這些論點的話，要加在哪裡會比較好呢?

謝謝大家!

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