12.6進步18分心得(獨立寫作part2) - 英檢

那篇文章的標題我忘了，但內容有一段讓我的印象超級深刻
作者是這麼寫的:

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我這兩次考試作文一共進步5分左右
比較了一下兩次考試作文的差別，最大的差別應該是格式吧
上一次的作文我是這樣寫的:

開頭

原因一 原因一的舉例

原因二 原因二的舉例

結論

這次我想說換個方式寫，就照GRE考試的方式來寫
作文的題目是電視對小孩子有沒有好處?寫的方式是這樣的:

開頭

電視似乎對孩子們沒有好處? 舉例

但反過來說，電視對孩子也有不少教育性意義 舉例

更進一步闡述，描寫有大人陪同看教育性節目，孩子的收穫會更大

結論

我換成這樣寫，結果就進步了好幾分，也許ETS比較喜歡這樣的作文吧
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這篇文章讓我大受震撼!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
翻了一下willis提供的模版大全，這才發現他也教過這樣的模版
再加上和他討論過後，willis也認同在有一定的實力下
寫正反論的作文會比較有得高分的希望

那......為什麼我不試試看


雖然看到那篇文章已經是考前一周左右了
但因為"進步五分"實在是太誘人了
所以我冒險修改模版，並加緊腳步練習新模版
新的模版如下所示

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模版

The topic of people’s view on something can be approached from several
different angles due to its complexity. Some people tend to prefer something
while others seem to prefer something. I have also developed my own point of
view as well. I favor the latter/former position, that is, I think something.

On the one hand, there are some advantages of something. The main advantage
is that sample. (陳述)

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of something. The main
disadvantage is that sample. (陳述)

With the reasons above, I think something because the advantages of the
second argument are qualitatively greater than the first argument. In other
words, something is something. That’s not to say, of course, that other
points of view are completely without merit. However, I think the reasons I
have provided in favor of my point of view are stronger.
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換了新模版，作文當然也要加倍練習啦
由於當時我只剩下六天左右的時間，為了盡快熟悉新模版
我幾乎是一天寫兩篇，總之就是給它拼了

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範文

Do you agree with the statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much
their students learn.

The topic of how much teachers should be paid can be approached from several
different angles due to its complexity. Some people tend to agree that
teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn while
others seem to disagree with it. I have also developed my own point of view
as well. I favor the latter position, that is, I think teachers should not be
paid due to how much their students learn.

On the one hand, it seemed reasonable that teachers are paid according to how
much their students learn. The main advantage is that it would have an
excellent monitoring effect on teachers. Since teachers are paid based on
what their students learn, they may try their best to teach their students
instead of wandering around the classroom and saying something which is
irrelevant.

On the other hand, there are also a number of disadvantages if we cut down a
teacher's salary just because his students did not learn a lot. The main
disadvantage is unfairness, because it is difficult to determine how much
students learn. In theory, tests and exams can only evaluate what a student
has memorized, which is just the basic part of learning. Therefore, a student
who has the ability to get high marks in exams doesn’t mean that he really
learns a lot. Take Susan, who is a teacher in my school, for example. Susan
believes that only the higher scores a student can gain in tests result in a
better future for him, so in her lecture she focuses on the information that
would help her students get better scores instead of presenting something
that is also important to students. Her students may get amazing high marks,
but does that also means that they actually learn a lot? And would it be fair
if we consequently pay more to Susan?

I do not prefer that teachers are paid according to how much their students
learn because the disadvantages of it are qualitatively greater than the
advantages. That’s not to say, of course, that other points of view are
completely without merit. However, I think the reasons I have provided in
favor of my point of view are stronger.
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(眼尖的人應該也會發現，換這組模版我的文章篇幅也變長了)
(論述也增加了)

結果
也許是沾了那名分享的好心版友的喜氣
或是ETS真的這麼喜歡看考生寫正反論的作文
我的作文分數從21分進步到27分
足足進步了六分!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

和John討論過後，John還說如果整合寫作的分數和上次一樣
我這次獨立寫作搞不好有拿超過4.5分
ETS這到底是.......



總之，雖然ETS是怎麼想的我永遠也猜不透
但是換了這組模版+每天不間斷的練習+加強邏輯和論述
真的有讓我的作文進步，而且也有確實的反應在分數上
為了感謝TOEFL版讓我看到那篇文章，拯救了我的作文分數
在此把模版和範文都附上，希望會對大家有幫助


PS.有人知道台南寰宇的willis老師在哪間學校任教嗎?
有班級名，他的姓氏更好，我想親自送禮物感謝他
(他居然不教了>口<，害我上次去寰宇撲了空，他真的教得很好啊)

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