1/18 J2 TOEFL 獨立寫作擬答 [文法部分] - 英檢

上一篇文章有點長，為了方便閱讀，所以將文法說明部分移到這篇文
章來。

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Rosa 老師的第二段原文

First of all, art displays the characteristic of a society.
Therefore, the government should support artists. For
example, a Taiwanese painter, Huang Yon-Tsan, is good at
drawing paintings of the nature. That is to say, through his
art, people get a glimpse of the beautiful scenery and the
creatures in Taiwan. Furthermore, Picasso depicts a society
which places emphasis on leisure and on sitting around
drinking tea with beautiful women. Through his art, people
can imagine what life was like at that period in France.

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【第一句】
First of all, art displays the characteristic of a society.

1. characteristic 是可數名詞，所以應該加 s。

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【第二句】
Therefore, the government should support artists.

1. government 目前並非某特定政府，所以應該用不定冠詞 a 而非
the.

2. artists 在此並非指普天之下所有的藝術家，而是指某國家自己
的藝術家，所以要加所有格

-->
Therefore, a government should support its artists.

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【第三句】
For example, a Taiwanese painter, Huang Yon-Tsan, is good at
drawing paintings of the nature.

1. 關於 Huang Yon-Tsan（這是誰？我 Google 不到）應該改成

Huang Yon-Tsan, a Taiwanese painter, ...

或

The Taiwanese painter Huang Yon-Tsan (注意，沒有逗點)

至於原文的寫法，是不對的。犯了文法上關係子句或限定修
飾語的錯誤。

2. nature 前面不加 the

下面這四行說明來自 Longman Dictionary of Common Errors

Nature (= the natural world of birds, trees, rivers,
etc) is never used with the :

'We must stop destroying nature before it is too late.'

-->
For example, the Taiwanese painter Huang Yon-Tsan is good
at drawing paintings of nature.

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【第四句】
That is to say, through his art, people get a glimpse of the
beautiful scenery and the creatures in Taiwan.

1. 這開頭的 that is to say 「也就是說」，在邏輯上不通。
因為這兩句話並不是同一個意思換一個句子再說一遍，所以這轉
折語應該換一個。比方說用 therefore 就比較合邏輯。

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【第五句】
Furthermore, Picasso depicts a society which places emphasis
on leisure and on sitting around drinking tea with
beautiful women.

1. Picasso 已經作古，所以不會 depicts，而應該是 depicted

2. places 應該是 placed

3. sitting around drinking tea 中 sit 與 drink 的意義上主詞
是誰？不可能是 society，看起來也不像是 Picasso

4. 最後，這整句話看起來應該是漏了一些字，目前文字所表達的意
思真的很不容易想像。

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【第六句】
Through his art, people can imagine what life was like at
that period in France.

1. that period 中 that 是指示形容詞，也就是前文應該出現過
period 或與其相當的內容，後面才能用 that 去指，否則就會像
現在這樣，讓讀者不知這指的是那個「時代」。

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最後，這段文章還有一個我想不通的問題：後面兩位畫家的例子，為
何能夠推導出「政府應該資助（支持）藝術家」的論點，尤其是畢卡
索的那部分？

以上，關於文法以及用字的部分說明，大家參考看看。

並再次對 Rosa 老師表達歉意。


謝忠理


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