高手可以幫個忙嗎 - 英檢

※ 引述《Lo17 (- -)》之銘言：
: 由於本身英文程度不太好，也沒參加過托福，所以不清楚關於寫作
: 的評分標準，利用版友之前所示範過的題目，套上自己背的模板，希
: 望有高手可以幫我指點一下，還有這樣大概可得幾分?? 萬分感謝
: 這是獨立寫作
: Do you agree with the statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much
: their students learn.
: From my point of view, I will strongly agree that teachers should be paid
: according to how much their students learn rather than not. While it sounds
: rational, in fact. It brings more benefits to students.

Topic sentence盡量不要使用in my point of view, or in my opinon，因為essay
就是你的想法可以不用強調。我會選用破題的方式改成:
Teachers should be paid...for it can benefits students.接著後面應該要有理由
Because...你後面兩段有提到的原因: teachers plays an important role...

: Is anything that we can do to remedy the education of the students in
: Taiwan? There are a variety of ways to look at this question. First of all, I
: think it is very important to improve the quality of teachers. Although the
: students are not clever, a good teacher can lead them to gain knowledge. Take
: Roy, Who is a teacher in my school, for instance. Roy believes that
: everything is possible to a willing heart. Many sidetracked students became
: better by his teaching, because he did not abandon any students.
:
這段開始說明理由，你這邊舉的例子不錯好的老師有教無類。

On the other hand, our education is in trouble now. Therefore, it would
: be great to pay teachers according to how much their students learn. In
: addition, it provides a better and easy way to gain knowledge rather than
: just reading book. I believe that teachers play an essential role in
: education.

你提到教育is in trouble now如果能再補充說明理由會比較符合你的說法。

: Last but not least, I prefer to agree with this statement. It is
: necessary for students to learn with a good teacher. With the reasons above,
: I support that teachers should be paid according to how much their students
: learn. However, I think the reasons I have provided in favor of my point of
: view are stronger.

However...這句似乎是多餘了。

: 這樣字數會不會太少?

就我所知高分的作文字數往往超過三百甚至多於五百字，所以多多益善囉!但是這essay所
提出的理由似乎太過偏袒老師而忽略了學習不只是依賴老師，而是學生的學習態度也扮
演很重要的腳色。第一，教育不是商品而是良心事業不能以金錢來衡量。再者如果採用這
方式，就會出現老師迎合學生而不是引導學生，違背了教育的原則。

你應該也看過高分作文的範例，如果沒有我在這PO給你看當作參考。


Teacher's pay

Education is one of the holiest occupations. I disagree with that teachers
should be paid according to how much their students learn Although teachers
are important for students, the most vital part for learning knowledge is
students themselves.

Different teachers has different style, so it is hard to evaluate how well
each teacher teachers according to how much students learn. As nobody would
have the same charater, teachers also have their own teaching styles such as
humorous, gentle, strict, to name a few. Maybe some students like humorous
teachers, while others prefer a gentle one. But probably the students of a
strict teacher could give good results in their study, even though these
teachers teach the same thing. We could not say that the strict teacher
should be paid higher than the gentle one, since we know that the students
have learned more because they were afraid of the strict one.

One the other hand, how much well students learn depends on students them-
selves. In a school, it is easy to see that some students are with high
marks, while some others have lower marks. A teacher is a person who
direct students how to learn. Students should do much more works. The more
attention students pay, the more knowledge they learn. The hard-workers
probably get higher scores. Students'learning result depend on individual
students' intellectual abilities and the time and energy that they put into
learning. Sometimes it has nothing to do how well the teachers taught. In
addition, knowledge that students learn not only comes from the teachers, but
also from many sources. Family influence, extracurricular reading and out-class
teaching are some of the sources that can provide students with knowledge.

In sum, although teachers are important in student's education and learning,
they are many other factors that decide how well students' learning. So it
is unfair that teachers are paid according to how much their studetns learn.


原PO提出的觀點雖然有其道理，但比較於相反的觀點所提出的原因理由，我比較反對老師
應該由學生所學到的來支付。至於分數，因為我不清楚滿分多少，如果10分的話我給4分
小弟愚見僅供參考。

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