關於作文的句子refine - 英檢

有書籍說要改善because 的簡單用法 加上避免使用people

我發覺下面這種句子還滿像我會寫出來的 所以發文跟大家請教下

ex:
Because many people desire to learn foreign languages, there appear many language schools.

改寫:
Many language schools are called into existence by the social demand for acquisition of foreign languages


如果是我的改寫就會是
Many language schools appear due to the public desire of learning foreign languages

1. 目的是去掉people 這種空泛的名詞，不過這樣的改寫是否仍然過於簡單?
2. of learning foreign languages 正確嗎?
還是of acquisition of foreign languages 會比較好?
因為我發覺整體來說要寫出動詞(learn)比起名詞(acquisition)對我來說會比較容易點,

感謝

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