請教寫作 - 英檢

※ 引述《laughters (good!)》之銘言：
: 各位托福版友好
: 小弟這星期天就要上場3戰了
: 作文還是沒什麼突破 前兩戰 寫作部分只有17和20
: 把自己的模板貼上來請各位版友指教
: 希望能給些批評讓我改進
: 謝謝大家
: 首段：
: Viewpoints differ considerably when it comes to the issue of whether "題目".
: Some people believe that "題目的正面". However, I think that "題目的反面".

如果你是指viewpoints應該是用they來當代名詞

Coming to the issue of whether..., viewpoints differ considerably.


: 第二段：
: My personal experiences have led me to conclude that
: First of all, "支持的原因1 ". 解釋原因1
: "該原因的例子".
: 第三段：
: Second, "支持的原因2 "解釋原因2
: "該原因的例子".
: 第四段：
: People with different opinion may argue that "反對的原因 ".

應該是opinions

may argue? may cause感覺比較好

: It may be true that
: However, they may fail to consider all possible situations, and thereby they
: jumps to conclusion without substantial reasoning.

突然跑出個they?

reasoning? 應該reasons 才對

: 反對的原因 may cause the 壞的結果
: 末段：
: In conclusion, given the reasons described above, when the advantages and
: disadvantages of "題目的主題" are carefully compared, the most striking view
: is obvious. It may be safe to arrive the conclusion that "擬支持的一面".
: 我自認為2～3段寫法太單調了
: 都是原因1＋解釋原因＋例子
: 至於第4段我還沒想到該怎麼解決邏輯不通順的問題
: 請各位不吝指教
: 謝謝大家
: 祝大家都100＋




--