煩請大家幫我看看我的作文 謝謝 - 英檢

小弟我對於獨立寫作部分

要想出三個正面或反面的點子實在有困難

所以爬了前人的文修改了自己的模板變成

1.TOPIC
2.A點1
3.A點2
4.B點反面
5.結論

這樣子的形態

但是我不知道我套這樣子到底好不好 順不順

由於作文都沒有人幫我看過 都是自己打完用findscore改

所以找不到自己的盲點 想請各位板大幫我看一下其中一篇我的作文

For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget
more on very young children education rather than on universities?


Opinions and views always differ greatly when it talks about the topic
whether the nation should spend the money on the young kid education or on
universities. On the one hand, a portion of people assert that children
should be taught as early as possible to let them learn more. On the other
hand, another people think that the college should be the main point to spend
the budget. In the final judgment, I agree with the latter opinion. In the
following, I would like to provide some reasons to support my point of view.

To begin with, there is a reason for me to consider my opinion. The reason
is that the mental and intellect of young kids cannot let them to afford the
deep and broad knowledge. According to a biological experiment, the brain must
be full mature after age eighteen. For example, my brother learned a lot of
chemical knowledge from school when he was an elementary school student but he
totally forgets the chemical conceptions now. The reason he told me was that
he could not even understand the principle of the chemical when he was a
little kid, so he just memorized the conceptions but could not use them.

In addition, the second reason is not far to seek: the young children
could not know their favorite area, so they often just learn the area which
the parents ask. My classmate's experience can function as a very good
example. When he was eight, his mother enforced him to study literacy. He was
too young to make the decision that time and the enforcement lead him to
reject learning. However, when he entered the college, he found he was very
interested in astronomy. Afterward, he starts to research astronomy and really
does well in this area.

Of course, it may be true that if children start to do some specific
studying early, they will have more time to develop themselves. For instance,
a lot of parents sent the kids to cram schools because they do not want their
kids to lose on the start point. Yet, after carefully comparing the front and
the back of this aspect, we will discover the disadvantages of this side of
point are qualitatively greater than the advantages.

To sum up, given the reasons and the examples discussed above, which
intertwine to form the organic and persuasive viewpoint, I can safely arrive
at the conclusion that country should not focus money on little kids education
rather than on universities.


謝謝大家

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