如此寫作是否太過表面? - 英檢

我爬過板上精華區，獨立寫作所用的模板大概是:

第一段: 開頭，說明主題正反論述皆有人支持，我支持正/反(以正為例)

第二段:先說明反也有人支持，舉例或說明理由

第三段:但是以我來說，我還是支持正，以我自己為例

第四段:結論，雖然反有人支持，但是根據我自己與以上論述，我支持正面

但是我使用此模板發現因為正反都需要論述，所以導致可能例子不夠深刻，

也想不出好句子 或是有說服力的例子，所以想請大家看看我的問題是不是這樣

我寫了一篇獨立寫作 請大家幫忙看看

主題:it is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than
doing physical exercise. You agree or digree with it?


本文:

The topic , it is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than
doing physical exercise. Some people think this words is correct, while some
people consider that doing exercise is better to relax. I also have myself
view of this issue. In my opinion, I support the former , that is, watching
or reading something is better to get relaxed.

On one hand, some people like to be relaxed by doing some exercise. Take my
best friend, Mike as an example.When he gets tired of his homework or anger
with something, to calm down , he always does some exercise ,such as jogging
or playing basketball. He says that after doing that, it will make him relaxed
and relieve his stress. There is no doubt that doing physical exercise is a
good way to make someone relax.


On the other hand, for me, it is definitely better to relax by watching or
reading something. Firstly, I dislike to do exercise because of the sweat.
After an intense exercise, we must get wet. It is difficult for me to feel
relaxed due to the bad feeling. Furthermore, I like to read books and watch
movies.By doing the both, not only do I feel relaxed , but also I can learn
something from movies or books.It will make my emotion down, peaceful and
great.

There are two habits of mine fostered thanks to the relaxing influence of
reaing books and watching movies.Firstly, due to the good effect of reading,
before I fall asleep , I always read a novel or newspaper to get myself more
relaxed, which is helpful for me to fall asleep.In addition, at that time I
feel so tired , it is my habit to watch comic movies. It takes my bad feeling
out and make me smile from ear to ear.The above are my favorite things.

In my view , I support this words more. Although there is still relaxing
effect from doing physical exercise,I still like to watch movies or read books
more. To sum up, from the above reasons and mentions, I agree with this words
more,that is , it is better to relax by watching a movies or reading a book
than doing physical exercise.


文長約350~400，寫得不是很好，請大家給點意見!感謝萬分!!!

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