動手打人的男人 - 閒聊
By Thomas
at 2011-08-10T15:58
at 2011-08-10T15:58
Table of Contents
: : 不斷用腳踢踢我家副駕駛座前的抽屜
: : 扔我家擋風玻璃前的隔熱墊
: : 扔我哥放手機的架子
: : 並在車子行駛中開車門
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: : 歇斯底里 而上面這所有的動作全都是在車子行進間做的
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: : 這位小姐 妳難道不知道這有多危險嗎?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: 如果你在開車,副座的人這麼鬧,說真的很難火氣不上來
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: 我沒有說打人是對得! 但是這種同歸於盡(拜託 開車門不是真的跳
: 就是要作樣子讓男生拉你)的作法
: 小姐平常生氣會做出這種事情嗎? 不會嘛~ 因為大家都是有理性的人
: 我們都知車子行使中開車門很危險,更何況你又不是要真跳,那更危險!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
不知道大家對上面畫線的部分有什麼樣的看法?
妳們覺得正在行進間的車輛發生這種事,是男方會比較危險呢?還是女方比較危險?
如果你問我的看法,我會告訴你:
幹他老大伯的,我最危險!!!!!!!!
看到文章這部分,我整個陳年火就上來了!
=============== 警告!此篇文章帶有極度情緒性及無特涉對象之髒話 ==============
=============== 為顧及女板板眾及兩性平權觀點,髒話對象一律以男 ==============
=============== 性為苦主,不喜者請勿續閱觀覽! 祝 闔家平安~~ ==============
這件事讓我想起前幾年在台北市發生的一場車禍
苦主不知道為什麼這麼巧,就剛好是敝人小弟在下我
話說那天天氣晴朗,風和日麗,氣溫33度,相對溼度60%
那天下午我正好去淡水辦完事,回程由大度路往承德路向台北市方向走
承德路那邊有一條很特別的機車專用道,它是夾在兩個車道中間,
專供往台北市方向的機車使用。
當天騎在機車專用道上,看到左前方的車子,裡面的男女隱隱約約地動來動去
我心想:不會吧?大白天的就有好看的啊!何況還是在開車耶!於是油門摧了下去
仔細一看,才知道根本就不是什麼養眼的鏡頭,原來是情侶在吵架啊......
基於《台灣社會學》「掃到風颱尾定理」,我也就把車速慢下來,無心觀看了
騎到一半,發現左前方那台車怎麼突然左右漂移、使出輪擺式位移
這麼經典的畫面大概只有藤原拓海才能辦到吧?
心裡想這時侯應該要遠離這台車,不知道他會有什麼奇怪的後續動作
就在這個念頭不到1秒,果不其然,那台車突然停下來了!
一台轎車就這麼無預警的停在我的左前方,停在汽車道上
就在有不好的預感同時,緊接而來的動作居然是副駕駛座的女性頭朝向右邊車門
「 副駕駛座的車門該不會要打開吧!!!!! 副駕駛座的車門應該不會打開啦!!!!!
副駕駛座的車門居然好像打開了!!!!! 副駕駛座的車門真的已經打開了!!!!!
我該不會這麼衰洨正好撞上去吧!!!!! 我應該沒有這麼背遇到這種鳥事!!!!!
我看樣子應該是不太會撞到才對!!!!! 我看樣子應該鐵定剉青屎無誤了!!!!! 」
碰~~~~~ 沒錯!我摔車了......伴隨著巨大車禍碰撞聲的同時,
除了那名女性的尖叫之外,還有我口裡那句蕩氣迴腸的幹拎老舅大腳瘡
不騙大家,我那時才知道人死前的人生走馬燈是怎麼回事
撞上的那一瞬間,我的眼前經歷了許多人生畫面,
包括:第一次考零分,第一次被媽媽揍;第二次考零分,第一次被爸爸揍
第三次考零分,第一次一起被爸媽揍
還有偷挖姊姊的撲滿、第一次溺水在市立游泳池裡、第一次拉屎在褲子
向中山女高的阿珠告白被拒、連三年暑假去學校補考、出社會被上司狗幹......
現在想想,我的人生跑馬燈怎麼這麼機車啊!
就在那聲碰撞後,我摔躺在地上不知道有多久,全身都不能動了,只知道台北市
的天空好藍,晴空萬里,偶有數朵白雲點綴,如雪般皚皚......
還有...還有.......
地板好他爹的燙啊!!!
我終於可以體會虱目魚在鍋子裡被油煎有多麼不爽了
這時該輛車的車主和旁邊女性也下車察看,只見那位女性用驚恐的表情和語氣
問我:先生,你還好吧?你聽得見我講話嗎?先生、先生,你說話啊!
我:.................
男方:妳白痴啊!誰叫妳開車門的?妳不知道這樣很危險啊!
女方:我怎麼知道,怪我囉?要是你和她沒斷,我怎麼會找到這個?......
男方:妳又想怎樣?要一直講這個是不是?
女方:好啦好啦!每次都這個樣子.......
我os:(原來是因為有小三啊...)
男方:我就說沒有什麼了,妳煩不煩啊?
女方:你現在是怎樣?講到她你就心虛了哦?
男方:先不要吵了!看一下人家有沒有怎麼樣
男方:先生,你還能說話嗎?
我:.................
男方:看他的手,好像骨折了耶
女方:對啊!對啊!他手斷了耶!好痛的感覺
我os:(原來我的手斷了哦...不過怎麼沒有感覺呢?)
男方:妳還敢講!還不是因為妳
女方:居然怪到我這邊來了,要不是你一直有去找她,我會這樣嗎?
男方:又來了!妳又提到她,剛才妳還打不夠嗎?
我os:(我說好心的兩個人啊...吵完了拜託幫我叫輛救護車好不好?)
後來在男方打手機叫救護車的同時,救護車已經先抵現場了
我想應該是別的用路人好心幫我打的吧
之後的事就不多說了,總之在醫院躺了快一個月,雙手骨折,其它全身
有多處剉傷。
我主要想講的事情不是針對原po,而是在開車時無理取鬧、動手,影響到行車安全這件事:
你他表哥的知不知道這種行為有多危險?
你要吵架有很多地方可以吵,像是無人的產業道路,適合棄屍的大肚山上,
台中港邊的消波塊,幼華幼稚園,行政院主計處等等......
這麼愛吵為什麼不上〈頭家來開講〉?妳還可以跟立宏一起提出妳的看法,還有全台鄉民
幫妳call in幹譙、分享精闢的見解
為什麼一定要在行車的時侯做這種事?而且還對開車的人動手動腳?
你他表弟的好險我今天只是骨折,不是被後面的車輛輾過變成同榮鮪魚塊
不然你們是要幫我養我老爸老媽還有我家那兩隻賤貓嗎?
就憑你們兩個,你養得起嗎?
更扯的是行進間開車門這是哪一步啊?我翻遍108招也沒有這一招啊!
就算是龐加萊猜想也沒有像這件事這麼難猜想,我就是猜不透,
妳為什麼要在馬路中間開車門?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
是為了維大力還是義大力?我真是猜不透妳啊~~~~
都沒有在看電視新聞的嗎?這種案子死了多少人知不知道?
那一陣子害我變成超級大廢人
有多廢?比段延慶還要廢
各位兄弟姊妹啊!你們有沒有吃過稀飯?對不起,我好像問了個蠢問題
那我換個方式問好了,你們有沒有用過珍珠奶茶的吸管來吃稀飯?
不!嚴格來說應該是吸稀飯才對......
我吃了快三個月的流質食物!
三個月!!! 三個月耶!!!!~~~~~
三個月雙手不能用的痛苦妳們能體會嗎?
學弟在這段時間一直故意燒愛田由和吉崎直緒的片子來醫院給我的痛苦妳們知道嗎?
那種吃進去的東西和出來都差不多一個樣的感覺妳們能理解嗎?
有時候我都有「我是不是在吃屎」的錯覺
就因為妳們兩個在馬路上吵架的白痴!害我過了快半年生不如死的日子
就因為妳們兩個在馬路上突然開車門的人渣!害我躺在馬路上當10幾分鐘的岩燒
謝謝妳們,讓我知道就算只騎時速50公里也不可能在十幾公尺內煞得住
謝謝妳們,讓我知道就算騎車時,也要小心旁邊車子的動向
也謝謝妳們讓我見識了什麼叫做急停路中間,我以為這只會出現在好萊塢電影裡面
最後我只想對這兩位說聲:
去死一死咧卡快活啦~~
--
真的!怎麼吵架都好,就是不要在車上吵
更不要對開車的人動手動腳
不然……路人會很幹
--
: : 扔我家擋風玻璃前的隔熱墊
: : 扔我哥放手機的架子
: : 並在車子行駛中開車門
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: : 歇斯底里 而上面這所有的動作全都是在車子行進間做的
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: : 這位小姐 妳難道不知道這有多危險嗎?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: 如果你在開車,副座的人這麼鬧,說真的很難火氣不上來
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: 我沒有說打人是對得! 但是這種同歸於盡(拜託 開車門不是真的跳
: 就是要作樣子讓男生拉你)的作法
: 小姐平常生氣會做出這種事情嗎? 不會嘛~ 因為大家都是有理性的人
: 我們都知車子行使中開車門很危險,更何況你又不是要真跳,那更危險!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
不知道大家對上面畫線的部分有什麼樣的看法?
妳們覺得正在行進間的車輛發生這種事,是男方會比較危險呢?還是女方比較危險?
如果你問我的看法,我會告訴你:
幹他老大伯的,我最危險!!!!!!!!
看到文章這部分,我整個陳年火就上來了!
=============== 警告!此篇文章帶有極度情緒性及無特涉對象之髒話 ==============
=============== 為顧及女板板眾及兩性平權觀點,髒話對象一律以男 ==============
=============== 性為苦主,不喜者請勿續閱觀覽! 祝 闔家平安~~ ==============
這件事讓我想起前幾年在台北市發生的一場車禍
苦主不知道為什麼這麼巧,就剛好是敝人小弟在下我
話說那天天氣晴朗,風和日麗,氣溫33度,相對溼度60%
那天下午我正好去淡水辦完事,回程由大度路往承德路向台北市方向走
承德路那邊有一條很特別的機車專用道,它是夾在兩個車道中間,
專供往台北市方向的機車使用。
當天騎在機車專用道上,看到左前方的車子,裡面的男女隱隱約約地動來動去
我心想:不會吧?大白天的就有好看的啊!何況還是在開車耶!於是油門摧了下去
仔細一看,才知道根本就不是什麼養眼的鏡頭,原來是情侶在吵架啊......
基於《台灣社會學》「掃到風颱尾定理」,我也就把車速慢下來,無心觀看了
騎到一半,發現左前方那台車怎麼突然左右漂移、使出輪擺式位移
這麼經典的畫面大概只有藤原拓海才能辦到吧?
心裡想這時侯應該要遠離這台車,不知道他會有什麼奇怪的後續動作
就在這個念頭不到1秒,果不其然,那台車突然停下來了!
一台轎車就這麼無預警的停在我的左前方,停在汽車道上
就在有不好的預感同時,緊接而來的動作居然是副駕駛座的女性頭朝向右邊車門
「 副駕駛座的車門該不會要打開吧!!!!! 副駕駛座的車門應該不會打開啦!!!!!
副駕駛座的車門居然好像打開了!!!!! 副駕駛座的車門真的已經打開了!!!!!
我該不會這麼衰洨正好撞上去吧!!!!! 我應該沒有這麼背遇到這種鳥事!!!!!
我看樣子應該是不太會撞到才對!!!!! 我看樣子應該鐵定剉青屎無誤了!!!!! 」
碰~~~~~ 沒錯!我摔車了......伴隨著巨大車禍碰撞聲的同時,
除了那名女性的尖叫之外,還有我口裡那句蕩氣迴腸的幹拎老舅大腳瘡
不騙大家,我那時才知道人死前的人生走馬燈是怎麼回事
撞上的那一瞬間,我的眼前經歷了許多人生畫面,
包括:第一次考零分,第一次被媽媽揍;第二次考零分,第一次被爸爸揍
第三次考零分,第一次一起被爸媽揍
還有偷挖姊姊的撲滿、第一次溺水在市立游泳池裡、第一次拉屎在褲子
向中山女高的阿珠告白被拒、連三年暑假去學校補考、出社會被上司狗幹......
現在想想,我的人生跑馬燈怎麼這麼機車啊!
就在那聲碰撞後,我摔躺在地上不知道有多久,全身都不能動了,只知道台北市
的天空好藍,晴空萬里,偶有數朵白雲點綴,如雪般皚皚......
還有...還有.......
地板好他爹的燙啊!!!
我終於可以體會虱目魚在鍋子裡被油煎有多麼不爽了
這時該輛車的車主和旁邊女性也下車察看,只見那位女性用驚恐的表情和語氣
問我:先生,你還好吧?你聽得見我講話嗎?先生、先生,你說話啊!
我:.................
男方:妳白痴啊!誰叫妳開車門的?妳不知道這樣很危險啊!
女方:我怎麼知道,怪我囉?要是你和她沒斷,我怎麼會找到這個?......
男方:妳又想怎樣?要一直講這個是不是?
女方:好啦好啦!每次都這個樣子.......
我os:(原來是因為有小三啊...)
男方:我就說沒有什麼了,妳煩不煩啊?
女方:你現在是怎樣?講到她你就心虛了哦?
男方:先不要吵了!看一下人家有沒有怎麼樣
男方:先生,你還能說話嗎?
我:.................
男方:看他的手,好像骨折了耶
女方:對啊!對啊!他手斷了耶!好痛的感覺
我os:(原來我的手斷了哦...不過怎麼沒有感覺呢?)
男方:妳還敢講!還不是因為妳
女方:居然怪到我這邊來了,要不是你一直有去找她,我會這樣嗎?
男方:又來了!妳又提到她,剛才妳還打不夠嗎?
我os:(我說好心的兩個人啊...吵完了拜託幫我叫輛救護車好不好?)
後來在男方打手機叫救護車的同時,救護車已經先抵現場了
我想應該是別的用路人好心幫我打的吧
之後的事就不多說了,總之在醫院躺了快一個月,雙手骨折,其它全身
有多處剉傷。
我主要想講的事情不是針對原po,而是在開車時無理取鬧、動手,影響到行車安全這件事:
你他表哥的知不知道這種行為有多危險?
你要吵架有很多地方可以吵,像是無人的產業道路,適合棄屍的大肚山上,
台中港邊的消波塊,幼華幼稚園,行政院主計處等等......
這麼愛吵為什麼不上〈頭家來開講〉?妳還可以跟立宏一起提出妳的看法,還有全台鄉民
幫妳call in幹譙、分享精闢的見解
為什麼一定要在行車的時侯做這種事?而且還對開車的人動手動腳?
你他表弟的好險我今天只是骨折,不是被後面的車輛輾過變成同榮鮪魚塊
不然你們是要幫我養我老爸老媽還有我家那兩隻賤貓嗎?
就憑你們兩個,你養得起嗎?
更扯的是行進間開車門這是哪一步啊?我翻遍108招也沒有這一招啊!
就算是龐加萊猜想也沒有像這件事這麼難猜想,我就是猜不透,
妳為什麼要在馬路中間開車門?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼? 為什麼?
是為了維大力還是義大力?我真是猜不透妳啊~~~~
都沒有在看電視新聞的嗎?這種案子死了多少人知不知道?
那一陣子害我變成超級大廢人
有多廢?比段延慶還要廢
各位兄弟姊妹啊!你們有沒有吃過稀飯?對不起,我好像問了個蠢問題
那我換個方式問好了,你們有沒有用過珍珠奶茶的吸管來吃稀飯?
不!嚴格來說應該是吸稀飯才對......
我吃了快三個月的流質食物!
三個月!!! 三個月耶!!!!~~~~~
三個月雙手不能用的痛苦妳們能體會嗎?
學弟在這段時間一直故意燒愛田由和吉崎直緒的片子來醫院給我的痛苦妳們知道嗎?
那種吃進去的東西和出來都差不多一個樣的感覺妳們能理解嗎?
有時候我都有「我是不是在吃屎」的錯覺
就因為妳們兩個在馬路上吵架的白痴!害我過了快半年生不如死的日子
就因為妳們兩個在馬路上突然開車門的人渣!害我躺在馬路上當10幾分鐘的岩燒
謝謝妳們,讓我知道就算只騎時速50公里也不可能在十幾公尺內煞得住
謝謝妳們,讓我知道就算騎車時,也要小心旁邊車子的動向
也謝謝妳們讓我見識了什麼叫做急停路中間,我以為這只會出現在好萊塢電影裡面
最後我只想對這兩位說聲:
去死一死咧卡快活啦~~
--
真的!怎麼吵架都好,就是不要在車上吵
更不要對開車的人動手動腳
不然……路人會很幹
--
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