請問我這樣子整合寫作格式ok嗎? - 英檢

今天開始練整合寫作
聽完和看完之後要summarize
主題是有關一個族的遷徙
請問我這樣格式有錯嗎? 有哪邊需要改進嗎?
我這樣大概可以拿幾分?

In the listening part, the lecturer doesn't agree with the drought as the
main reason to migrate Anazazi but some other reasons such as disease,
overuse of farm, attack from other tribes. By contrast, the writer in the
reading part points out the drought as the main reason to force Anazazi
abandon their regions.
The writer insists that it was the unprecedented summer drought for sixty
years which caused Anazazi to migrate to another regions based on the global
warming. Besides, the warming brought about the heat waves to ravage the
tribe. And the irrigation system became the irrevocable evidence to show that
the tribe was in lack of water resources. But the lecturer doesn't think so,
he thinks that the global warming didn't affect the climate considerably to
drought. And even the irrigation system had been built 150 years ago, which
couldn't be the proof.
What comes next is that the writer sets froth an idea about the increasing
population based on the fertile soils and natural spring poping up in that
period. Hence, the overpopulation must lead to problems of insufficient food
and water resources. Nevertheless, the lecturer still keeps a different view
toward this. The lecturer the problems of drought and lack of resources
couldn't be the severe enough to threaten the tribe to migrate to another
place.
To conclude, the writer believes that the natural diaster is the
flashpoint to cause the migration of Anazazi, which left the artifacts and
building intact. As for the lecturer, he believes that there must be some
other reasons to explicate the migration of Anazazi, such as disease, overuse
of farming, or the invasion by other tribes.

歡迎大家給我指教^^ 謝謝

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