該怎麼和很負面想法的人相處 - 閒聊
By Wallis
at 2020-08-20T08:53
at 2020-08-20T08:53
Table of Contents
那個人是自己的親媽媽,我非常愛她,她是一個非常稱職的家庭主婦,把家裡照顧的無微不
至~還非常孝順,外公家大小事幾乎她跑來跑去打理(雖然舅舅舅媽都在)
可是一些個性我不知道怎麼共處,當女兒也30年了,從國小可以懂「抱怨」這情緒定義後,
幾乎天天都接受這種情緒,我覺得你抱怨別人,別人聽不到那就算了,可是媽媽成天抱怨爸
爸,抱怨一樣跟我們很親近的人。我們也同樣很愛父親呀。
小時候他們吵吵鬧鬧,已經知道彼此不合了,卻沒選擇離婚,我想是為了小朋友,小孩長大
了,卻因為媽媽重心都在家庭,離婚了她也不知道怎麼過生活...也「不想」離婚(有問過
了),所以感覺就屈就於此。生活大小事都可以抱怨,我們幫忙做事情被嫌棄,不幫忙做事
情被說我們要讓她做死才甘願(嘆)
我想過很多解決方法,例如醫療的,不過他應該沒有憂鬱?就算有,他完全不可能看醫生(
沒病識感)宗教的,一般拿香拜拜,我會幫忙焚香拜佛,但再多向外求助她就拒絕(例如基
督教的媽媽活動),娛樂的,約出去玩,運動,走路,但隨著年紀增長,他也漸漸沒體力,
即使只是散步30分鐘~然後開心一下子,等等持續抱怨哈哈哈
她唯一興趣就是料理,可我們要一起跟她做料理只會被嫌棄(認真嫌棄那種)然後被趕走,
等到她要你幫忙,你就得來(不然如上述他又會開始抱怨我們不孝順 )可我們也有自己
工作要忙啊~
我媽超級沒安全感,什麼事情不順她意,就整個往負面去...所以每每拿陳年往事抱怨我爸
爸時(最不能接受抱怨自己人QQ)我真的不知道該如何是好,我試過打哈哈,轉移話題,安
慰她,但後面我發現我一直被動的接受這些,我心情也會大受影響,當我無法支持她時,就
選擇冷處理,想當然,她就開始冷暴力(不講話,甩門...)或是跟妹妹們說我壞話XDD
到底該怎麼順應(?)這樣的家庭環境,我想借問廣大厲害的ptt版友們~~
感覺我媽媽「真的」需要我們的時候去幫忙,才有實質效益,但我們真的不是沒工作,有時
候工作也會帶回家忙QQ~~而且我媽只看你不幫忙(然後放大XD)幫忙的幾乎不講~
--
至~還非常孝順,外公家大小事幾乎她跑來跑去打理(雖然舅舅舅媽都在)
可是一些個性我不知道怎麼共處,當女兒也30年了,從國小可以懂「抱怨」這情緒定義後,
幾乎天天都接受這種情緒,我覺得你抱怨別人,別人聽不到那就算了,可是媽媽成天抱怨爸
爸,抱怨一樣跟我們很親近的人。我們也同樣很愛父親呀。
小時候他們吵吵鬧鬧,已經知道彼此不合了,卻沒選擇離婚,我想是為了小朋友,小孩長大
了,卻因為媽媽重心都在家庭,離婚了她也不知道怎麼過生活...也「不想」離婚(有問過
了),所以感覺就屈就於此。生活大小事都可以抱怨,我們幫忙做事情被嫌棄,不幫忙做事
情被說我們要讓她做死才甘願(嘆)
我想過很多解決方法,例如醫療的,不過他應該沒有憂鬱?就算有,他完全不可能看醫生(
沒病識感)宗教的,一般拿香拜拜,我會幫忙焚香拜佛,但再多向外求助她就拒絕(例如基
督教的媽媽活動),娛樂的,約出去玩,運動,走路,但隨著年紀增長,他也漸漸沒體力,
即使只是散步30分鐘~然後開心一下子,等等持續抱怨哈哈哈
她唯一興趣就是料理,可我們要一起跟她做料理只會被嫌棄(認真嫌棄那種)然後被趕走,
等到她要你幫忙,你就得來(不然如上述他又會開始抱怨我們不孝順 )可我們也有自己
工作要忙啊~
我媽超級沒安全感,什麼事情不順她意,就整個往負面去...所以每每拿陳年往事抱怨我爸
爸時(最不能接受抱怨自己人QQ)我真的不知道該如何是好,我試過打哈哈,轉移話題,安
慰她,但後面我發現我一直被動的接受這些,我心情也會大受影響,當我無法支持她時,就
選擇冷處理,想當然,她就開始冷暴力(不講話,甩門...)或是跟妹妹們說我壞話XDD
到底該怎麼順應(?)這樣的家庭環境,我想借問廣大厲害的ptt版友們~~
感覺我媽媽「真的」需要我們的時候去幫忙,才有實質效益,但我們真的不是沒工作,有時
候工作也會帶回家忙QQ~~而且我媽只看你不幫忙(然後放大XD)幫忙的幾乎不講~
--
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