想請大家幫忙看一下我的作文 - 英檢

Table of Contents

我的作文寫到線沒什麼機會給人改

想麻煩大家幫我看一下這樣寫O不OK

我在30分鐘寫完

但其中留了不少錯字

語文法問題

但想問大家我這樣寫大方向可不可以?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People behave
differently when they wear different clothes. Do you agree that different
clothes influence the way people behave? Use special examples to support your
answer.

All we have to wear clothes everyday. Many people wear different clothes
each day. And, we usually dress differently in differnt situations.
Personally, I believe that people' behavior change while they are in
different clothes.

First of all, we behave differently due to the special charactoristic of a
clothe. Some clothes allow people do things elegently and some clothes let
people do things easily. For example, while I am in a sports clothe, I walk
faster and I am willing to do things require more power, such as movine some
heavy things, because the clothe is lighter and make it easy for me to move
my body. There are different propose for those clothes.

Furthermore, we have different behaviors owing to the value of clothes. If I
buy a expensive clothe, I will definitly behave carefully when I wear it
because I don't want to split it or make it dirty. On the other hand, if I am
in a cheap clothe, which I don't really treasure , I will do things more
casually. For instance, when I wear a Hang Ten T-shirt , I play basketball or
go jogging. Nevertheless, when I wear a Rageblue suit, I will go to library
or have dinner with friends only.

Last but not least, we behave differently because the clothe sometimes means
some thing to us. Take myself for examply, the suit of my senior high school
reminds me to be a diligent student and everyone prespect me ,too. Hence, I
always force myself contrate and study hard when I am in my suit and
studying in a library. I am prode of this clothe.

In conclusion, based on the statements above, I agree with the statement
that clothes influence the way people behave.

292字

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All Comments

Irma avatarIrma2011-11-14
一點小建議 主詞好像都是 "I" 開頭比較多
建議可以參考 OG 高分作文 看看人家主詞是什麼
Xanthe avatarXanthe2011-11-18
使用多樣不同的主詞同樣也會增進你句型結構變化
還有整篇文章的結構跟邏輯
Una avatarUna2011-11-19
建議:1. 回去審視整篇的文法和用詞,滿多地方用錯的
Skylar Davis avatarSkylar Davis2011-11-23
2. 三論點改為二論點,因為你提出的三論點基本上都可以
合在一起講,區別性不高
Elvira avatarElvira2011-11-27
3. 舉例不夠生動,張力也不夠,建議可舉更實際的例子
加油!
Enid avatarEnid2011-11-28
頭兩句文法有些錯誤,且搔不到癢處可以刪掉,開頭很重要