如何避免文章例子鋪陳太長 by J2 - 英檢

大家好，我是實力養成班顧問J2.
關於例子發展部分，先前我有寫過七篇文章，同學可以先看看，再看此篇
喔！

口說寫作例子延伸方法 by J2
https://reurl.cc/jgYYnM

口說寫作例子發展法 part 2 by J2
https://reurl.cc/mv44g1

如何在30分鐘內發展出好例子？ by J2
https://reurl.cc/zW44vy

你的寫作發展方向是對的嗎？by J2
https://reurl.cc/GbLL9y

如何讓口說寫作發展例子更貼切？by J2
https://reurl.cc/Wdp5Rk

你知道你的例子，可能只發展了一半嗎？
https://reurl.cc/95LLMV

例子發展，一定要用過去的故事嗎？by J2
https://reurl.cc/ox44lj

最近有發現同學寫文章常常有「鋪陳太多」的問題，感覺很想要把例子寫的
具體，所以盡所能的把故事交代得很清楚，到底在故事具體又不能太多流水
帳之間怎麼平衡呢？來看看以下兩個例子。也建議同學可以先自己思考看
看，再看看我給同學的建議喔！

1. A/D: It is more important to have a positive attitude when
facing failure, compared to coping with success.

(Agree)
To begin with, people usually have to face various challenges in
their life, and a positive attitude toward failure could provide
them enough courage to face challenges. Take my grandfather for
example, he was born in a poor family during world war II. Life
was difficult at that time. Therefore, as the smartest child in
the family, my grandfather was expected to be a doctor which was a
symbol of a high-salary job when he grew up. However, he failed to
pass the college entrance examination. Instead of indulging in the
sadness, he embraced his failure and adjusted his studying
strategy immediately. People mocked his failure, yet he never gave
up since he could always hold a positive attitude toward
everything. Therefore, next year, he successfully passed the exam
and got a medical degree in the long run. According to my
grandfather’s experience, we can learn that having a positive
attitude toward difficulty could make us brave enough to overcome
the difficulty.

同學應該可以發現從he was born in a poor family還有下一句Therefore
應該都是不太必要的鋪陳，因為論點是 a positive attitude toward
failure could provide them enough courage to face challenges. 所以
例子發展的重點應該著重在有怎樣的正面態度，而讓阿公有勇氣。所以其實
只要從他大學落榜這邊開始寫就好了，前面阿公的成長經過經歷戰爭等等是
不必要的。

2. 題目是要不要能力分班？

(Agree)
First of all, students care about learning efficiency, and
dividing the teenagers into the same class can improve their
efficiency. For example, when I was in senior high school in 2010,
I had to hand in science assignments every week. Each assignment
usually required lots of experiments or research. To be more
specific, it took me much time to conduct the experiments and
write the report. However, the teacher decided to divide the
students into smaller study group. Since my partners had similar
level of ability, we could discuss the topics and help each other
to learn theories faster than doing it alone. Because of this,
both of us finished the assignments quickly and received A+ grade.
Therefore, regarding learning efficiency, joining a group with
same level's ability can benefit students.

這裏不需要發展的點是when I was in senior high school in 2010, 這裏
in 2010是不需要的，有時候同學會覺得例子具體就是要放上人事時地物，
但其實還是要看情況。以這個例子來說，只是要舉一個自己切身的例子，重
點在「就是因為有能力分班，所以有什麼好的結果，」所以有when I was
in senior high school, 這就已經足夠了，因為題目在問的是能力分班，
那例子當然會講到在國小、國中、高中等等，但在哪一年讀高中不重要。

另外後來發展也有點偏題，因為題目是問能力分班好壞，但文章發展只有提
到分組能力跟自己相仿，所以可以很快完成作業並且拿到A+, 不太符合題目
所問的 （那能力如果沒有那麼好的一組呢？）。

如果以主題句efficiency來說，應該要說的是如果能力分班，程度好的同學
在一個班，老師上課進度就可以快一點，程度不好的班級就適時的慢下來，
雖然速度會比較慢，但至少確保同學是真的學會，也還是比都學不會有效
率。 相反地，如果不能力分班的話，班上有程度好跟不好的同學，老師不
管教快還是教慢，都一定會對一部分同學來說很沒效率。

從以上兩個例子，同學有沒有比較知道例子要講到多具體了呢？了解後還是
要自己多寫看看，才能確保考試時發揮得出來喔！

Cheers,
J2

SK2本週日有場「懶人包」公開課，全線上進行，在家就能參加，歡迎把握
最後機會踴躍報名！
上課日期：11/14（日）10:00~12:00
上課講者：J2 & Chris 顧問
上課內容：聽說讀寫各科的關鍵技巧

快速報名連結：https://reurl.cc/g8zAOL

--