南港蜘蛛網...... - 台北南港
By Thomas
at 2014-12-17T00:10
at 2014-12-17T00:10
Table of Contents
※ [本文轉錄自 StupidClown 看板 #1KZv-gnH ]
作者: penny1629 (追追追) 看板: StupidClown
標題: [無言] 南港蜘蛛網......
時間: Tue Dec 16 10:57:44 2014
板工提醒:內容少於二十字 或 少於三行,會立刻砍文,並視情況劣退!
想發集氣文或問卷文的,請將板規八每一個字都看清楚,再有違反就劣退+水桶了!
==========================================================================
這是之前po在FB的文章.....但是後來不知怎麼文章就消失不見了
無意中找到當時寫文章的原稿因此在特地PO上來
以下文長慎入
=============================本文開始=====================================
今天是大年初一!!!悲哀的我今天竟然還要回中研院餵老鼠...我真是個認真盡責的好助理
阿!!!
不過這不是重點...
大年初一就遇到一件讓我終身難忘的事情也是得來不易的
話說我從院內出來想要吃午餐的時候....由於整條研究院路只有一間火鍋店有開!!!
於是我走進去了...平常沒啥人的火鍋店今天走進去竟然還有三四桌客人
在我挑了一個位置坐下來之後~~環顧了一下四周看看有哪些人!!(畢竟這是身為一個專業
FBI探員所該具備的基本功......|||=..=)
在我旁邊的是三四個國高中生..(有男有女...也就是所謂的小屁孩)
在我斜後方的則是一對夫妻帶著一個約高中的女兒....
當我開始吃的時候這篇文章的主角進來了
進來的是一個媽媽.....(感覺就是個貴夫人年約35~40左右..手上拿著名貴包包)
重點是還戴太陽眼鏡.....=..=...這是南港餒!!當全台灣出大太陽的時候...唯一會下雨
的地方就是南港中研院這邊八!!
另外還有一對姐弟...姐姐年約國中高中左右...弟弟則是還在念幼稚園的感覺
弟弟是給一個有點年紀的奶奶抱著......(感覺就是一個很疼孫子的好阿罵)
而爸爸好像因為公司的事情沒辦法來(從他們聊天中得知的)
當她們坐在我對面桌的時候
故事就是從這個小弟弟開始的!!!
在這邊半自助式的火鍋店..除了肉類其他的青菜配料小菜都是自取的!!隨你愛吃多少就夾
多少
當這個媽媽和藹可親的問了姐姐想吃甚麼之後..姐姐就大聲的說我要吃貢丸!!!
這位可愛的弟弟立馬..從椅子上跳下去拿著盤子說要幫姊姊夾貢丸!!!!
媽媽:好吧..姐姐愛吃你幫她夾
阿罵:唉呦...真是"糾大心"的乖孫!!!!
一個轉眼弟弟大摡夾了20~30顆圓滾滾的貢丸走回來...並且在姐姐來不及喊停的模們特把
它全部丟到姊姊的鍋子裡面.....=..=!!
這時我看到姊姊的鍋子竟然被貢丸佔據了!!!想要放片青菜都沒位置八!!!
當下媽媽的表情是呈現想揍弟弟...但是礙於阿罵在旁邊不能隨便出手的表情
幹.....我的胃...我的胃好痛...超好笑的!!!那種冏爆的表情....
阿罵:唉呦~~~真乖的弟弟阿..知道姊姊愛吃貢丸!幫姊姊夾了這麼多....(媽媽的嘴角在抽
蓄ING)
WTF....這個阿罵疼孫的泡耳也太強了!!我的胃....我的胃又再抽蓄了!!!!好想笑出來
此時的弟弟開始熱情的幫著他的家人夾菜.......我繼續低頭吃東西的時候....
最後是看到他幫阿罵夾了一大盤(真的是一大盤還會拱起來的那種)......豬血糕....
(此時可以證明這個小弟是個小屁孩無誤)
他是想要阿罵便秘到死是不是......
阿罵:唉呦...弟弟真乖知道我喜歡吃豬血糕...阿罵好開心歐......
我的十二指腸....我的十二指腸也開始抽蓄了!!!
姐姐繼續低頭吃著他的貢丸.......
(以下是分隔線....因為我也在吃東西)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
過了半個多鐘頭左右...我依舊一邊玩著我的手機吃著我的火鍋....
而弟弟依然熱情的幫著家人夾菜....其中又幫姐姐補了十幾二十顆的貢丸
姐姐繼續低頭吃著他的貢丸..........
小弟弟吵著說要吃冰淇淋.....一開始媽媽還嚇阻了他不准去吃...
但是礙於阿罵的金孫泡耳實在太強大了!!媽媽只能讓弟弟自己去挖他的冰淇淋
姐姐還在吃他的貢丸....
於是可愛的小弟弟就拿著勺子挖了不少的冰淇淋....絕大部分都是粉紅色的草莓口味
當弟弟把冰淇淋挖完勺子要放到水杯的那個模們特.........我看到一個不可思議的畫面
他竟然把整根勺子放到嘴巴....呈現....含x棒...吹x叭...津津有味的含著勺子(眼睛甚
至陶醉的翻了個白眼)
隔壁桌的國高中生也發現了這個奇特的景象
國高中生A(男):幹...超屌的拉!他整根都含進去了
國高中生B(男):媽哩...這麼大根都還得進去........有沒有這麼扯
國高中生C(女):這有甚麼難.......明明就很簡單阿(相當大聲)
這有甚麼難......明明就很簡單阿
這有甚麼難................明明就很簡單阿
這有甚麼難.............................明明就很簡單阿..........
整個火鍋店沉默了.....連收盤子的小弟都停下來個三秒...想說是不是聽錯了!!!
這個小女生似乎發現自己講錯話了...而另外的同學似乎發現聽到了不得了的事情
她們這桌從一開始我進來就不停的吵吵鬧鬧瞬間陷入了一片死寂當中!!!!!
此時弟弟心滿意足的走回自己的位置....
阿罵低頭吃著豬血糕.....姐姐低頭吃著貢丸........
我的小腸.....我的小腸也開始跟著胃還有十二指腸不停的抽蓄著!!!!!
幹....我好痛苦阿.....我好想大聲的笑出來!!!!!
在弟弟回去座位大概兩分鐘之後...我聽到他不滿的怨言....
弟弟:這個冰淇淋好難吃歐....哈根大隻的比較好吃...我又蒐集到了可靠的情報(有錢人
家的小屁孩無誤)
阿罵:好好好...乖孫等等吃完阿罵帶你去買哈根大隻.....金孫泡耳無敵阿!!!
當阿罵正在講話的時候...弟弟以迅雷不及掩耳的速度把全部的冰淇淋全部一股腦兒的倒
進了阿罵的鍋子裡面......
這時媽媽終於忍不住爆發了!!!!!!甩手就是揍了一下弟弟的手
媽媽:你把冰淇淋全部丟掉阿罵的鍋子...這樣阿罵要怎麼吃???
弟弟被這突如其來的一掌嚇哭了....開始哇哇大哭!!!!!
這時的情節想必而知阿罵一定會出來打圓場
阿罵:唉呦~~~沒關係啦!!反正外面不是也有再賣甚麼番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋之類的!!沒
關係啦~~~手還從飄著一堆草莓口味冰淇淋的鍋中夾起了一塊豬血糕放到嘴巴示意著..還
是可以吃的表情!!!
姐姐看了一眼之後繼續低頭吃著他那一鍋好像聚寶盆一樣永遠都吃不完的貢丸!!!
幹.....番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋.....
番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋..................
番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋........................
我看到隔壁的國中生已經有個已經抵擋不起這種攻擊..而趴在桌上一邊抖動一邊笑了!!
好歹我也是經歷過大風大浪......這種攻擊我還承受的住!!
不過我開始感覺到我的大腸也有點在翻動了!!!!
在這時這篇文章的高潮終於來了!!!
媽媽的情緒好像如同黃河長江氾濫...滔滔連綿不絕的宣洩出來
開始不停的罵著弟弟.....
而弟弟也不甘示弱的一邊哭一邊反擊
媽媽:像你這種沒家教的小孩我不想要了
弟弟:嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚...我才不要你這種壞媽媽....
媽媽:好阿..不想要我你就滾阿......去找別人當你媽媽阿!!!!!
弟弟:我要找XX阿姨當我媽媽......嗚嗚嗚越哭越大聲
媽媽:XX阿姨有甚麼好...他會帶你吃火鍋嗎??他會帶你吃哈根大隻嗎????
弟弟:XX阿姨他會幫我洗澡...也會幫爸爸洗澡!!!!!!!(一邊哭一邊怒吼)
也會幫爸爸洗澡..........
也會幫爸爸洗澡....................
也會幫爸爸!@#$^^%&%...........................=..=!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(靠........我好像也聽到了不得了的事情了)
這時整間火鍋店的空氣凝結了.......我甚至連隔壁桌火鍋加熱的那種咕嚕咕嚕的聲音都
聽得一清二楚
也會幫爸爸洗澡...這幾個字在我耳中如餘音繞樑三日......連綿不絕於耳一直在我的腦
中徘徊出現........
此時的阿罵發現事情不對...繼續吃著他帶著草莓牛奶口味的豬血糕
姐姐更是持續的跟他的貢丸激戰中!!!!!
我的大腸也禁不起這種攻擊開始鼓譟了起來....於是我趕快把錢付完.....
在我付錢的同時看到媽媽已經拿起手機在問孩子的爸在哪裡之類的問題..
以及XX阿姨好像是爸爸公司員工的情報
當我走出火鍋店點起一根菸緩解一下這種百年難得一件的刺激的同時
另外一桌的夫妻帶女兒她們也出來了!!!
當店門關上的同時...媽媽就帶著威脅的口氣跟爸爸說.....你敢讓別的阿姨幫你洗澡我就
剪了你!!!!
這時爸爸已經受不了的大笑回說......還好我沒有兒子可以讓阿姨幫他洗澡...
終於壓抑在我腸胃中的笑意終於全部噴射出來了!!!
--
作者: penny1629 (追追追) 看板: StupidClown
標題: [無言] 南港蜘蛛網......
時間: Tue Dec 16 10:57:44 2014
板工提醒:內容少於二十字 或 少於三行,會立刻砍文,並視情況劣退!
想發集氣文或問卷文的,請將板規八每一個字都看清楚,再有違反就劣退+水桶了!
==========================================================================
這是之前po在FB的文章.....但是後來不知怎麼文章就消失不見了
無意中找到當時寫文章的原稿因此在特地PO上來
以下文長慎入
=============================本文開始=====================================
今天是大年初一!!!悲哀的我今天竟然還要回中研院餵老鼠...我真是個認真盡責的好助理
阿!!!
不過這不是重點...
大年初一就遇到一件讓我終身難忘的事情也是得來不易的
話說我從院內出來想要吃午餐的時候....由於整條研究院路只有一間火鍋店有開!!!
於是我走進去了...平常沒啥人的火鍋店今天走進去竟然還有三四桌客人
在我挑了一個位置坐下來之後~~環顧了一下四周看看有哪些人!!(畢竟這是身為一個專業
FBI探員所該具備的基本功......|||=..=)
在我旁邊的是三四個國高中生..(有男有女...也就是所謂的小屁孩)
在我斜後方的則是一對夫妻帶著一個約高中的女兒....
當我開始吃的時候這篇文章的主角進來了
進來的是一個媽媽.....(感覺就是個貴夫人年約35~40左右..手上拿著名貴包包)
重點是還戴太陽眼鏡.....=..=...這是南港餒!!當全台灣出大太陽的時候...唯一會下雨
的地方就是南港中研院這邊八!!
另外還有一對姐弟...姐姐年約國中高中左右...弟弟則是還在念幼稚園的感覺
弟弟是給一個有點年紀的奶奶抱著......(感覺就是一個很疼孫子的好阿罵)
而爸爸好像因為公司的事情沒辦法來(從他們聊天中得知的)
當她們坐在我對面桌的時候
故事就是從這個小弟弟開始的!!!
在這邊半自助式的火鍋店..除了肉類其他的青菜配料小菜都是自取的!!隨你愛吃多少就夾
多少
當這個媽媽和藹可親的問了姐姐想吃甚麼之後..姐姐就大聲的說我要吃貢丸!!!
這位可愛的弟弟立馬..從椅子上跳下去拿著盤子說要幫姊姊夾貢丸!!!!
媽媽:好吧..姐姐愛吃你幫她夾
阿罵:唉呦...真是"糾大心"的乖孫!!!!
一個轉眼弟弟大摡夾了20~30顆圓滾滾的貢丸走回來...並且在姐姐來不及喊停的模們特把
它全部丟到姊姊的鍋子裡面.....=..=!!
這時我看到姊姊的鍋子竟然被貢丸佔據了!!!想要放片青菜都沒位置八!!!
當下媽媽的表情是呈現想揍弟弟...但是礙於阿罵在旁邊不能隨便出手的表情
幹.....我的胃...我的胃好痛...超好笑的!!!那種冏爆的表情....
阿罵:唉呦~~~真乖的弟弟阿..知道姊姊愛吃貢丸!幫姊姊夾了這麼多....(媽媽的嘴角在抽
蓄ING)
WTF....這個阿罵疼孫的泡耳也太強了!!我的胃....我的胃又再抽蓄了!!!!好想笑出來
此時的弟弟開始熱情的幫著他的家人夾菜.......我繼續低頭吃東西的時候....
最後是看到他幫阿罵夾了一大盤(真的是一大盤還會拱起來的那種)......豬血糕....
(此時可以證明這個小弟是個小屁孩無誤)
他是想要阿罵便秘到死是不是......
阿罵:唉呦...弟弟真乖知道我喜歡吃豬血糕...阿罵好開心歐......
我的十二指腸....我的十二指腸也開始抽蓄了!!!
姐姐繼續低頭吃著他的貢丸.......
(以下是分隔線....因為我也在吃東西)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
過了半個多鐘頭左右...我依舊一邊玩著我的手機吃著我的火鍋....
而弟弟依然熱情的幫著家人夾菜....其中又幫姐姐補了十幾二十顆的貢丸
姐姐繼續低頭吃著他的貢丸..........
小弟弟吵著說要吃冰淇淋.....一開始媽媽還嚇阻了他不准去吃...
但是礙於阿罵的金孫泡耳實在太強大了!!媽媽只能讓弟弟自己去挖他的冰淇淋
姐姐還在吃他的貢丸....
於是可愛的小弟弟就拿著勺子挖了不少的冰淇淋....絕大部分都是粉紅色的草莓口味
當弟弟把冰淇淋挖完勺子要放到水杯的那個模們特.........我看到一個不可思議的畫面
他竟然把整根勺子放到嘴巴....呈現....含x棒...吹x叭...津津有味的含著勺子(眼睛甚
至陶醉的翻了個白眼)
隔壁桌的國高中生也發現了這個奇特的景象
國高中生A(男):幹...超屌的拉!他整根都含進去了
國高中生B(男):媽哩...這麼大根都還得進去........有沒有這麼扯
國高中生C(女):這有甚麼難.......明明就很簡單阿(相當大聲)
這有甚麼難......明明就很簡單阿
這有甚麼難................明明就很簡單阿
這有甚麼難.............................明明就很簡單阿..........
整個火鍋店沉默了.....連收盤子的小弟都停下來個三秒...想說是不是聽錯了!!!
這個小女生似乎發現自己講錯話了...而另外的同學似乎發現聽到了不得了的事情
她們這桌從一開始我進來就不停的吵吵鬧鬧瞬間陷入了一片死寂當中!!!!!
此時弟弟心滿意足的走回自己的位置....
阿罵低頭吃著豬血糕.....姐姐低頭吃著貢丸........
我的小腸.....我的小腸也開始跟著胃還有十二指腸不停的抽蓄著!!!!!
幹....我好痛苦阿.....我好想大聲的笑出來!!!!!
在弟弟回去座位大概兩分鐘之後...我聽到他不滿的怨言....
弟弟:這個冰淇淋好難吃歐....哈根大隻的比較好吃...我又蒐集到了可靠的情報(有錢人
家的小屁孩無誤)
阿罵:好好好...乖孫等等吃完阿罵帶你去買哈根大隻.....金孫泡耳無敵阿!!!
當阿罵正在講話的時候...弟弟以迅雷不及掩耳的速度把全部的冰淇淋全部一股腦兒的倒
進了阿罵的鍋子裡面......
這時媽媽終於忍不住爆發了!!!!!!甩手就是揍了一下弟弟的手
媽媽:你把冰淇淋全部丟掉阿罵的鍋子...這樣阿罵要怎麼吃???
弟弟被這突如其來的一掌嚇哭了....開始哇哇大哭!!!!!
這時的情節想必而知阿罵一定會出來打圓場
阿罵:唉呦~~~沒關係啦!!反正外面不是也有再賣甚麼番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋之類的!!沒
關係啦~~~手還從飄著一堆草莓口味冰淇淋的鍋中夾起了一塊豬血糕放到嘴巴示意著..還
是可以吃的表情!!!
姐姐看了一眼之後繼續低頭吃著他那一鍋好像聚寶盆一樣永遠都吃不完的貢丸!!!
幹.....番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋.....
番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋..................
番茄牛奶鍋..甘蔗牛奶鍋........................
我看到隔壁的國中生已經有個已經抵擋不起這種攻擊..而趴在桌上一邊抖動一邊笑了!!
好歹我也是經歷過大風大浪......這種攻擊我還承受的住!!
不過我開始感覺到我的大腸也有點在翻動了!!!!
在這時這篇文章的高潮終於來了!!!
媽媽的情緒好像如同黃河長江氾濫...滔滔連綿不絕的宣洩出來
開始不停的罵著弟弟.....
而弟弟也不甘示弱的一邊哭一邊反擊
媽媽:像你這種沒家教的小孩我不想要了
弟弟:嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚...我才不要你這種壞媽媽....
媽媽:好阿..不想要我你就滾阿......去找別人當你媽媽阿!!!!!
弟弟:我要找XX阿姨當我媽媽......嗚嗚嗚越哭越大聲
媽媽:XX阿姨有甚麼好...他會帶你吃火鍋嗎??他會帶你吃哈根大隻嗎????
弟弟:XX阿姨他會幫我洗澡...也會幫爸爸洗澡!!!!!!!(一邊哭一邊怒吼)
也會幫爸爸洗澡..........
也會幫爸爸洗澡....................
也會幫爸爸!@#$^^%&%...........................=..=!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(靠........我好像也聽到了不得了的事情了)
這時整間火鍋店的空氣凝結了.......我甚至連隔壁桌火鍋加熱的那種咕嚕咕嚕的聲音都
聽得一清二楚
也會幫爸爸洗澡...這幾個字在我耳中如餘音繞樑三日......連綿不絕於耳一直在我的腦
中徘徊出現........
此時的阿罵發現事情不對...繼續吃著他帶著草莓牛奶口味的豬血糕
姐姐更是持續的跟他的貢丸激戰中!!!!!
我的大腸也禁不起這種攻擊開始鼓譟了起來....於是我趕快把錢付完.....
在我付錢的同時看到媽媽已經拿起手機在問孩子的爸在哪裡之類的問題..
以及XX阿姨好像是爸爸公司員工的情報
當我走出火鍋店點起一根菸緩解一下這種百年難得一件的刺激的同時
另外一桌的夫妻帶女兒她們也出來了!!!
當店門關上的同時...媽媽就帶著威脅的口氣跟爸爸說.....你敢讓別的阿姨幫你洗澡我就
剪了你!!!!
這時爸爸已經受不了的大笑回說......還好我沒有兒子可以讓阿姨幫他洗澡...
終於壓抑在我腸胃中的笑意終於全部噴射出來了!!!
--
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