北宜驚魂 - 宜蘭
By Charlie
at 2015-05-04T11:18
at 2015-05-04T11:18
Table of Contents
上週六下午,從宜蘭開車回台北
來到雪隧,最擔心的事情發生了
前方車隊回堵數公里,動彈不得
由於之前聽過太多雪隧塞車傳說
「我在那邊塞了十小時」
「你知道雪隧停車場今天免費嗎?」
「我兒子從出生到滿月這段時間都在雪隧過的」等
一看這車潮便心生恐懼,到底要不要走?
突然,一告示牌印入眼簾:「往台北替代道路:9」
我不知這啥路,但比穿越停車場實際吧?
於是方向盤一轉離開車陣
從一群塞爆的傻車旁呼嘯而過
四周幾乎無車,眼前一片光明
但走著走著不太對勁,怎麼走進山裡了?
連續彎路號誌接踵而來
我赫然發現這就是鼎鼎大名的「九彎十八拐」北宜公路!
沒走過不知道,這路真是他媽的彎到爆拐到爆啊
好幾個彎都是一個半圓的弧度,離心力之大啊
我也不必護短,在駕駛領域個人主修直線龜速和刮車入庫
開這修羅之路簡直孔明挑呂布,兩下就脫褲
我一路戰戰兢兢,使勁活著
最大的麻煩在,那只有單線道
我很快就變成車隊領頭羊,率領一排不耐煩翻白眼的車
結果就像跟一群肯亞人跑馬拉松
每經過一個直線,都有人跨越雙黃線長揚而去
這也不打緊,但開了一陣,變故來了
一台他媽的柯博文緊跟在後
大貨車不可能超車,所以他永遠在我後面
一路緊貼,隨時看後照鏡都是柯博文的臉
屁股瀕臨被頂邊緣,我不得不加速逃離
但本人技術就擺在那邊,絕對經得起公開檢驗
再怎麼加速,一過彎還是被貼
我一路沒命的逃,偏偏路又崎嶇,左彎右拐
起先龜速還行,現在開快起來,我竟然他媽的暈車了
不會吧,現在他媽的投胎關頭司機暈什麼車啊?
我暈頭轉向醉拳都快打出來了
後有追兵前有吐桶,情況相當危急
但路只有一條,想停都無法,只能一路被戳著走
突然間,瞥見一家咖啡廳,不知為何開在山裡,但他現在根本燈塔
我一個轉彎切進去,柯博文順勢開走
點了杯咖啡
頭昏反胃,在那邊害喜了他媽的20分鐘才再度上路
整趟花了兩個半鐘頭
有比在雪隧塞車快嗎?當然沒有
朋友們早就回家睡覺了
而那同時我人在他媽的生死競速,完全蠢舉
對此,我暗暗立誓,有生之年不再走北宜,他媽的不再走!
--
http://mmadcity.pixnet.net/blog
--
來到雪隧,最擔心的事情發生了
前方車隊回堵數公里,動彈不得
由於之前聽過太多雪隧塞車傳說
「我在那邊塞了十小時」
「你知道雪隧停車場今天免費嗎?」
「我兒子從出生到滿月這段時間都在雪隧過的」等
一看這車潮便心生恐懼,到底要不要走?
突然,一告示牌印入眼簾:「往台北替代道路:9」
我不知這啥路,但比穿越停車場實際吧?
於是方向盤一轉離開車陣
從一群塞爆的傻車旁呼嘯而過
四周幾乎無車,眼前一片光明
但走著走著不太對勁,怎麼走進山裡了?
連續彎路號誌接踵而來
我赫然發現這就是鼎鼎大名的「九彎十八拐」北宜公路!
沒走過不知道,這路真是他媽的彎到爆拐到爆啊
好幾個彎都是一個半圓的弧度,離心力之大啊
我也不必護短,在駕駛領域個人主修直線龜速和刮車入庫
開這修羅之路簡直孔明挑呂布,兩下就脫褲
我一路戰戰兢兢,使勁活著
最大的麻煩在,那只有單線道
我很快就變成車隊領頭羊,率領一排不耐煩翻白眼的車
結果就像跟一群肯亞人跑馬拉松
每經過一個直線,都有人跨越雙黃線長揚而去
這也不打緊,但開了一陣,變故來了
一台他媽的柯博文緊跟在後
大貨車不可能超車,所以他永遠在我後面
一路緊貼,隨時看後照鏡都是柯博文的臉
屁股瀕臨被頂邊緣,我不得不加速逃離
但本人技術就擺在那邊,絕對經得起公開檢驗
再怎麼加速,一過彎還是被貼
我一路沒命的逃,偏偏路又崎嶇,左彎右拐
起先龜速還行,現在開快起來,我竟然他媽的暈車了
不會吧,現在他媽的投胎關頭司機暈什麼車啊?
我暈頭轉向醉拳都快打出來了
後有追兵前有吐桶,情況相當危急
但路只有一條,想停都無法,只能一路被戳著走
突然間,瞥見一家咖啡廳,不知為何開在山裡,但他現在根本燈塔
我一個轉彎切進去,柯博文順勢開走
點了杯咖啡
頭昏反胃,在那邊害喜了他媽的20分鐘才再度上路
整趟花了兩個半鐘頭
有比在雪隧塞車快嗎?當然沒有
朋友們早就回家睡覺了
而那同時我人在他媽的生死競速,完全蠢舉
對此,我暗暗立誓,有生之年不再走北宜,他媽的不再走!
--
http://mmadcity.pixnet.net/blog
--
Tags:
宜蘭
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